Going to therapy is a big step that takes a lot of courage for many people, so itâs highly frustrating when it doesnât seem to be working. Youâre certainly not alone if you feel like itâs not working for you, and there are many reasons to consider.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Therapy doesnât work for you if your therapist is not the right fit. It might also not work for you if youâre still new to it. When you first begin, you will most likely be bringing up a lot of negative feelings and emotions, so itâs natural to feel like itâs not working initially. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are other reasons why therapy might not be working for you, and Iâll discuss them in this article. Be sure to keep reading if you want to learn more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In this post, we'll cover:<\/p>\n
Approximately 9.5%<\/a> of American adults received a form of therapy or counseling in 2019, so itâs only natural that some of these people would run into issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are some of the most common reasons why therapy doesnât always work:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the reasons mentioned above could be why therapy isnât working for you, or it could be multiple reasons. Letâs take a closer look at each of them below:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are over 106,000<\/a> psychologists in the United States, so some are bound to have different strategies and techniques. Since every person is unique, not every therapist will work for every client.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If itâs your very first time in therapy, it can be daunting. Youâll likely be bringing up negative memories and emotions for the first few sessions, so itâs only natural to feel down for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Itâs not good to go into therapy thinking itâll solve all your problems in one session. For many people, it can take months for therapy to start having a positive impact. According to the American Psychological Associationâs<\/a> research, approximately 15-20 sessions are needed for 50% of patients to succeed in therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The only way therapy will genuinely work is if you lay everything on the table. It would be best if you didnât keep anything bottled up because it defeats the purpose of therapy. Your therapist can only help you if they know everything thatâs bothering you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It may not even be a case of you purposely hiding emotions from your therapist. You might feel certain things during the week and then forget about them when youâre in therapy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
An excellent way to deal with this issue is to keep a journal<\/a> of your emotions. It will make the sessions flow more easily and give you and your therapist something to work off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Therapy goes both ways; your therapist needs to put the work in, but so do you. Some people assume that they can sit in a therapistâs office, have a rant, and then their problems will be solved. This method may work for some people, but it wonât work for most.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Putting in effort means to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you feel like you are putting in a lot of effort but still arenât feeling any better, therapy likely isnât working for you for a different reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Setting goals is imperative if you want to get the most out of therapy. If you donât set realistic goals, youâll be more likely to get disappointed when things donât work out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, you shouldnât tell yourself that you want to be âcuredâ by the end of the first month if youâre dealing with severe issues. Not only is this unrealistic, but youâll be disappointed and likely frustrated when you realize that you donât feel better by the time youâd planned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If youâre unsure what the most appropriate and realistic goals are, you should discuss them with your therapist. Any good therapist would be happy to assist you in determining what your goals should be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you havenât set any goals at all and arenât sure what you want to get out of therapy, thereâs a chance that it wonât work well for you. If you have a goal, it gives you something to work towards, making therapy work well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Itâs no secret that therapy is expensive, with the average session costing between $100 and $200<\/a>. Even if the therapy is working, you may be so resentful about the cost that it doesnât even feel worth it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You could try other more affordable options if you start feeling like you want to get more for your money. Subscriptions like IPrevail<\/a> offer plans that you must pay for, but you get unlimited assistance and guidance, compared to therapy, where you only get an hour-long session at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You may have assumed that therapy would work for you instantly, so it can be a letdown when thatâs not the case. Many people think they can sit down, talk for an hour, and walk out feeling better. It is usually never the case, and in fact, many people tend to feel worse after the first few sessions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is essential to have an open mind when going into therapy. If you think that your preconceived ideas of what therapy should be<\/a> are the reasons why itâs not working for you, you should talk to your therapist about realistic expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you have addressed all the issues mentioned above but still feel like youâre not getting anywhere with therapy, you may need extra help. Thereâs no need to be ashamed if therapy isnât working as well as youâd hoped because itâs pretty standard for this to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many people require medication on top of therapy if theyâre feeling particularly emotional, distressed, or depressed<\/a>. The idea of going on medication can be daunting, but speaking to your therapist or doctor will quickly put your mind at ease.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention<\/a> (CDC), approximately one in 10 adults take some form of antidepressant. It means that you donât have to feel alone. Medication and therapy can work well for many people, so you must be open to when your therapist suggests this route if things donât improve with time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you feel like therapy isnât working, you need to be completely open and honest with your therapist. Tell them straight away precisely how you feel, and allow them to give you their advice or thoughts. They may even be able to offer a solution if youâre willing to give it a try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You may feel awkward, guilty, or ashamed if you tell your therapist that it isnât working out, but thereâs no need to feel this way. Your therapist has likely had this same conversation with many other clients, and itâs not your fault you feel this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before telling your therapist you want to end the sessions for good, you should be sure you have addressed all the issues discussed earlier in this article. You also shouldnât give up on therapy if youâve only had a handful of sessions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It helps to remember that even if the therapy worked quickly for a relative or friend, that doesnât mean itâll be the same for you. Discuss how you feel openly with your therapist, and theyâll be able to guide you on the best course of action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If itâs been months, and you feel like therapy isnât for you, there are other things you could try to improve your mental health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some practical alternatives to therapy include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n